Divorce Settlement Conference in San Diego County: A Step-by-Step Guide

A settlement conference date on the calendar usually means a divorce has stopped being a paperwork exercise. The other side has dug in on the house, the business, support or the children, and the case is now close enough to trial that the Superior Court of California, County of San Diego wants to know whether it can be settled first. Most people facing this process have never seen the inside of a family courtroom and are unsure what they will be asked, who decides what, and whether agreeing to anything means giving something up. This guide walks through what the conference is, what has to be done before it, and what happens on the other side of it.

The guide is organized as five steps, preceded by the groundwork and followed by the complications that most often change the picture. There is no fixed cost or duration for a settlement conference. Cost depends mostly on how much preparation the contested issues require, such as valuations, expert work and document review. Timing depends on the court's calendar and on how close the parties are to agreement.

A settlement conference is a court-supervised session. The Superior Court of California, County of San Diego typically sets it, and the parties and their attorneys appear before a judicial officer to try to resolve contested issues before trial. A judicial officer is a judge or commissioner. The conference is not a first step. It is usually set after a case has been pending for some time, once the issues are defined and a trial date is in view. The court's order setting the conference, and the current procedures posted at sdcourt.ca.gov, are where the San Diego-specific requirements for a given case appear.

A settlement conference is different from the custody mediation the Family Code requires. Under Family Code section 3170(a), when a petition or other pleading shows that custody or visitation is contested, the court must set those issues for mediation. In San Diego County, that mediation is child custody recommending counseling with the court's Family Court Services. That process covers only custody and visitation. A settlement conference can address the whole case: property, debts, spousal support, child support and custody. A conference is also distinct from private mediation, which spouses may choose on their own. Family Code sections 2450 and 2451 separately allow a court to order a family centered case resolution plan. Such a plan may include, among other things, early neutral case evaluation and limits on discovery.

By the time of the conference, certain groundwork is normally complete:

• Service. The summons and petition have been served.
• Preliminary disclosures. Each spouse has served a preliminary declaration of disclosure under Family Code section 2104(f), a sworn statement of assets, debts and income. The deadline is covered in Step 2.
• Document exchange. Ideally, financial documents have also been exchanged through informal requests or formal financial discovery in divorce.

The calendar has one more fixed point. Under Family Code section 2339, a divorce judgment cannot end the marriage until six months have passed from the date the summons and petition were served or the date the respondent appeared in the case, whichever occurs first. The court may extend that period for good cause. The clock does not run from the filing date.

A settlement conference can only resolve issues the parties can name precisely. California law frames each category differently.

Community property. Under Family Code section 760, community property generally means property acquired during the marriage while domiciled in California, with exceptions provided by statute. Family Code section 2550 directs the court to divide the community estate equally. The exceptions are a written agreement, an oral stipulation in open court, or another rule in that division of the Code. A stipulation is a formal agreement between the parties.

Valuation date. Under Family Code section 2552, the court values assets and debts as near as practicable to the time of trial. On 30 days' notice and for good cause, the court may instead use a date after separation and before trial. That difference matters when a stock account, a home or a business has changed in value since the couple separated.

Separate-property claims. Two different rules come up often, and they work in opposite directions:

• Section 2640 reimbursement. Under Family Code section 2640, a spouse who puts traceable separate-property money into community property is reimbursed for the contribution, such as a down payment or principal reduction. The reimbursement is without interest and does not exceed the property's net value. It is not available if that spouse signed a written waiver or a writing with the effect of a waiver.
• Moore/Marsden apportionment. This case-law rule covers the reverse situation: community money used to pay down the loan on one spouse's separate-property home. It can give the community a share of that home.

Support. Spousal support and child support are separate issues and are analyzed separately.

Custody. Legal custody refers to decision-making about the child. Physical custody refers to where the child lives. Contested custody goes through child custody recommending counseling under section 3170.

Business interests. A business's value can include goodwill. Its value is decided on the evidence, often with experts.

Final disclosures. Any agreement on property or support depends on the final declaration of disclosure required by Family Code section 2105(a). Its timing, and the option to waive it, are explained in Step 2.

Disclosure is what makes a settlement enforceable rather than fragile. The two sworn disclosures carry real deadlines, and this is the one place in the guide where they are set out in full.

• Preliminary declaration of disclosure. It is served with the petition or response, or within 60 days of filing it. The parties can extend that time by written agreement, or the court can extend it by order (section 2104(f)).
• Final declaration of disclosure and current income and expense declaration. These are due before or at the time of an agreement on property or support other than temporary support. If the case goes to trial, they are due no later than 45 days before the first assigned trial date (section 2105(a)).
• Mutual waiver. The parties may mutually waive the final declaration of disclosure. Under section 2105(d), the waiver must be executed under penalty of perjury, either in open court or by separate stipulation, and must include the representations the statute lists, including that both parties have complied with section 2104 and exchanged current income and expense declarations.

In practice, the final disclosure deadline is often the one that catches people off guard: because it is tied to the moment of agreement, a deal reached at the conference itself can trigger it.

Both declarations are made on Judicial Council forms the Family Code requires. Current versions are available through the California Courts self-help resources. The supporting documents typically include:

• tax returns
• pay stubs
• bank and investment account statements
• retirement account statements
• mortgage statements and property records
• business records, where a spouse owns or controls a business

Accuracy matters as much as completeness. Section 2105(a) states that perjury on the final declaration of disclosure may be grounds for setting aside the judgment, or any part of it, in addition to other civil or criminal remedies. An agreement built on incomplete or false numbers can therefore unravel after it is signed. When the other spouse's disclosures look thin, tools such as subpoenas and depositions in divorce are the lawful way to fill the gaps.

At a settlement conference, the judicial officer typically meets with the parties and counsel to explore whether the contested issues can be resolved by agreement. Some meetings are joint and some happen separately with each side. The judicial officer may point out weaknesses in each position. The conference itself, however, does not produce a ruling on the merits or a final judgment.

The conference can end in one of two ways:

• Full agreement. The terms are typically placed on the record or reduced to a written stipulated judgment.
• No agreement on some or all issues. Those issues proceed to trial before a judge, who hears the evidence and decides.

The custody counselor's role is different. Under Family Code section 3183(a), and consistent with local court rules, a child custody recommending counselor may submit a custody or visitation recommendation to the court. The counselor must first provide that recommendation in writing to the parties and their attorneys before the hearing. Family Court Services, which calls this person the Family Court Counselor, explains that if no agreement is reached in counseling, the counselor makes a recommendation and the court hearing proceeds. The recommendation can carry real weight. The judge still decides.

For anyone carrying the weight of a contested case into that room, one point matters most: the settlement conference does not replace trial preparation. The same evidence, valuations and legal arguments that would be presented at trial are what give a settlement position its force. A side that has done that work can test an offer against what a court is likely to hear. A side that has not done it is negotiating blind.

A settlement position is only as strong as the evidence behind it. Preparation is organized by issue.

Property. List each asset and debt. Characterize each one as community or separate, and attach a supportable valuation. Section 2552's time-of-trial standard — subject to the good-cause exception for an earlier valuation date described above — means current statements and current appraisals, not figures from the date of separation.

Separate-property claims. Document the source of the funds. A section 2640 reimbursement claim depends on tracing the contribution to a separate-property source and on there being no written waiver. A Moore/Marsden claim depends on records of community payments toward principal on the separate-property loan. The two claims are prepared differently and are kept separate.

Spousal support. Spousal support is not a formula at this stage. It is an argument built on the facts of a particular marriage, and Family Code section 4320 tells the court which facts to weigh. Among them:

• whether each party's earning capacity is enough to maintain the standard of living established during the marriage, including the supported party's marketable skills and any impairment from time spent on domestic duties
• the supported party's contributions to the other spouse's education, training, career or license
• the supporting party's ability to pay, taking into account earning capacity, earned and unearned income, assets and standard of living

The statute lists other factors as well. In plain terms, a support position at a settlement conference is persuasive to the extent it can show, with documents, how each of these points plays out in the actual marriage: what the household lived on, who gave up work and for how long, and what the paying spouse can realistically afford.

Custody. When custody is contested, child custody recommending counseling with Family Court Services typically occurs before or alongside the settlement process. The court's question is the child's best interests, and Family Code section 3011 names factors it considers, among others it finds relevant. They include:

• the health, safety and welfare of the child
• any history of abuse by a parent or other person seeking custody
• the habitual or continual illegal use of controlled substances, the habitual or continual abuse of alcohol, or the habitual or continual abuse of prescribed controlled substances

The court may require independent corroboration of abuse allegations, such as reports from law enforcement or child protective services. For a parent preparing for a conference, that point is practical: a concern about the other parent carries more weight when it is backed by records than when it rests on one side's account alone.

Domestic violence. Family Code section 3044(a) creates a rebuttable presumption against awarding sole or joint custody to a parent. It arises when the court finds that the parent perpetrated domestic violence within the previous five years. The presumption may be rebutted only by a preponderance of the evidence. Neither the preference for frequent and continuing contact with both parents nor the preference for contact with the noncustodial parent may be used to rebut it, in whole or in part (section 3044(b)(1)). Where this presumption is in play, it shapes the custody discussion at the conference from the start.

Parties often arrive with a short written summary of their position on each issue and the evidence that supports it. A summary of that kind keeps the discussion anchored when the conversation moves quickly.

A conference can end with a full agreement, a partial agreement or no agreement.

Full agreement. The terms are typically placed on the record in open court or written into a marital settlement agreement. That agreement is then incorporated into a judgment of dissolution. Under Code of Civil Procedure section 664.6, when parties stipulate to a settlement in a signed writing or orally before the court, the court may enter judgment on its terms. A stipulated judgment is a court order. If it later goes unpaid or ignored, the remedies are enforcement remedies, the same kind discussed in the guide on an unpaid divorce settlement. Even with full agreement, the six-month period under section 2339 still applies.

Partial agreement. The parties may settle some issues by stipulation, such as support or the sale of the house, and try only what remains. This outcome is common, and it can narrow the scope and cost of trial.

No agreement. The case moves toward trial. Settlement discussions are generally not admissible as evidence at trial, and offers made at the conference do not bind the parties there. The next stage is described in what happens at a divorce trial. Interim needs in the meantime are handled through temporary orders.

Disclosure condition. Any agreement on property or support, other than temporary support, depends on the final disclosure requirements of section 2105(a) having been met, or on a valid mutual waiver under section 2105(d).

No statute sets a settlement conference date. In San Diego County, the conference generally comes late in a contested case, after disclosures, discovery and any custody counseling, and before trial. In sequence, the fixed markers described above fall like this:

1. Preliminary disclosures early in the case (Step 2).
2. The six-month waiting period running from service or the respondent's appearance (Before You Start).
3. Final disclosures at the point of agreement or ahead of trial (Step 2).

If the conference produces full agreement, the remaining time is mostly the drafting and entry of the judgment, subject to the six-month period. If it does not, the timeline extends through trial preparation and trial.

Several situations make a conference harder to prepare for or add separate procedural steps. A person in one of these situations is often carrying more than the settlement itself.

Domestic violence

A domestic violence restraining order request runs on its own track. Under Family Code section 243, the petition, any temporary restraining order and the notice of hearing must be personally served at least five days before the hearing, unless the court shortens the time. Under section 3170(b), Family Court Services handles domestic violence cases in accordance with a separate written protocol approved by the Judicial Council.

Complex property

Business valuations, the division of pensions and retirement accounts, and separate-property tracing typically require expert witnesses. Their work generally needs to be finished before a conference can be productive. Asset characterization outside a dispute is a separate subject and is not covered here.

Contested custody

When custody is contested, the court must set the contested issues for mediation under section 3170. In San Diego County, that is child custody recommending counseling with Family Court Services. The Family Court Counselor may submit a written recommendation under section 3183(a), and the judge decides.

Self-represented parties

The Superior Court of California, County of San Diego offers a Family Law Facilitator's Office for self-represented litigants. Current procedures are posted at sdcourt.ca.gov. The San Diego County Bar Association is another local resource.

Where the firm fits

San Diego Family Law Advocates practices California family law only. For cases that need assertive, trial-ready preparation, the firm's page on an aggressive family law attorney describes that approach.

A settlement conference is often the last structured chance to resolve a contested case before trial. The quality of preparation shapes how useful it is. A consultation can cover the specific contested issues in a case, the state of both sides' disclosures, which valuations or separate-property claims need more support, and how a proposed term compares with what the evidence would likely show at trial. To talk with the firm about a settlement conference, call San Diego Family Law Advocates at 858-758-2288 for a confidential consultation.